Hey, my name is Andrew. Normally one wouldn't start an
introduction with something so relaxed as “hey.” That’s just the way I am. I am
also 16, I have brown hair and
apparently I’m a short person's worst nightmare (because I’m tall). I’ll start
off by saying that I am an artistic person, everything I do involves the arts. I draw
in art class, I act in drama and if you catch me on the right occasion I’ll
sing a song or two. I know what you’re thinking, "what about Math or Science?" Yup, I’m drawing during those too. The reason I’m so artistic really breaks down to
the people such as my friends, my teammates, my teachers and those I’m teaching. When
I was a kid I used to be quiet, I felt judged for everything I did because everything
I did would be considered pushing the envelope. That can make kids uncomfortable
if they aren't the same way. When I got to high school I hid that envelope, so
it couldn't be pushed; until I got to the drama room. The room had envelopes bursting
everywhere I looked. I found that it’s not all bad, if you can find people who
are like you. Now whenever you see me, you’ll see “that” tall guy laughing and
smiling with whoever he’s with. The biggest factor in anything and
everything I like doing is being free to do what I want and be me.This brings me to why I took writers craft. I took this
course because I wanted to be free to write about whatever I feel like. As well
it’s an added bonus that I’ll learn how to add proper grammar, spelling and
punctuation to proper writing. Lastly, I want to be able to tell a complete
story and have it make sense and evoke a chosen emotion.
That's me.
Good work finishing the task Andrew. Your writing style sounds just like your speaking style. It is relaxed, energetic and humorous. Well done. I love the metaphor of the "envelope". That paints a very nice image in my head.
ReplyDeleteNow, for the technical issues. Here are some things to fix:
1. put a period after "That's just the way I am." and then start a new thought
2. person's - needs an apostrophe for possessive
3. ...saying "that" I am.... missing word
4. I know what you're thinking, "What about Science?" comma then show it as a quote of the other person's thought, capital on subject name
5. Yup, and Lastly, put a comma after these introductory words to add a pause
6. ...breaks down to people such as my friends .... join as one sentence
7. biggest occurrence...I don't understand, do you mean biggest factor, or biggest feature? an occurrence is an event
8. put a space after punctuation, like periods
Make the changes before you forget:)